Life without all the have to’s
A question I asked all the time is “and how long will you stay in xyz?”…
(At the moment I’m living in San Miguel de Allende in Mexico, so I’m asked this very often here).
I typically answer… as long as I want.
Or, as long as time will allow for.
Let me ask you…
Do you know how long are you going to keep doing what you’re doing?
How long are you going to keep living where you’re living?
From how we’ve been condition to focus on fixed time periods, end dates, etc, it can be hard to get what it really means to have a truly flexible life, where no one else is dictating the terms under which you must live.
How do you get a truly flexible life?
Does it take having a million bucks?
No… it just takes getting rid of many of the “have to’s” and obligations from life – or changing your context for them.
For example, when you review and perhaps remove the “have to’s” from your life, including…
- Due dates for bills
- Locked in lease periods
- Number of years left on the mortgage
- Number of years left on rental payments
- Number of hours to put in at the office
- People who “need” you – just review this one…
What are you left with?
- Life without restraint
All of those demands are demands on your time.
And they’re not wrong, not even bad.
But I’d hazard a guess that most of them do cause stress.
And most of them are self-inflicted, often unwittingly at first.
Demands on your time = demands on your life.
Time is all we have. And while the future isn’t set (or even real) looking ahead plays a big part in how you feel about your life.
If you’re future is already tied up with constant demands and obligations, how will you create the space to start living life on your own terms?
It’s the future that you’re imagining for yourself that gives you that sense of freedom and possibility (or suffocation and entrapment) in the present.
We start out with all the freedom in the world, and then bit by bit tie ourselves down, until we find ourselves counting the days until we get to go away for those couple of weeks holiday, only to return back to that life of restrictions and “have to’s”.
Is your new year going to be defined by have to’s?
If you didn’t have the “have to’s”, who would you be?
How would your life look?
2 years ago I did away with all my restrictions and got rid of my have to’s:
- Cancelled all my bills
- Downsized most of my possessions – to 2 bags of only the important gear
- Figured out how to live in beautiful places without leases or mortgages
- Created an online business that would make money anywhere
And yes, that didn’t happen overnight.
It was years in the planning. But was it worth it? Absolutely!
It enables me to pick somewhere to live with no fixed term, no end date. I can live in a world of trust, where mistakes don’t occur as mistakes, and I can go where the opportunities flow.
You could call this “easy world”.
In the world of “have to’s” and obligations and restrictions, there are mistakes and things that can go wrong. How can they go wrong? Because people (and companies) place demands upon your freedom from the agreements that you made with them – and if you don’t fulfil upon the obligations, that’s considered a mistake, and people get pissed off!
And there’s nothing wrong with any of that.
It’s just that to me it always felt like “difficult world”.
And I knew there had to be an easier more free-flowing way to live.
But this was something that we were never taught.
In fact, what we’ve been taught is the opposite.
Accumulate, get into debt, and own stuff!
I admit it wasn’t easy, but I realised the path to freedom was in the opposite direction.
Just now I’ve just been invited to attend an amazing event in the jungle in Costa Rica next month at the Envision Festival in the jungle and on the beach. Should be amazing!
I’ve got my flight booked, and I leave from Mexico in 6 weeks. It will be a short trip. But I’m so grateful to this kind of flexibility that I’ve created.
If you’re at all inspired by a life of flexibility and freedom, start to think about the structures in your life that you feel are restricting you. Make a list of them.
Begin to formulate your freedom plan… even if it will be years in the making (like mine was!) you’ll have started your journey today.