Barnaby, You Heartless Bastard

 In Growth

In response to my recent blog post “Paris. Tragedy. You can relax, you don’t need to survive” I’ve received some 2 very interesting heart felt criticisms that I wanted to share:

Hi Barnaby
That was a very insightful article.
Although to live you do have to do something.
With two young children it’s an obligation to clothe, feed and educate them.

This requires money and it really doesn’t make sense to uproot them and traipse around the world.

It’s OK for someone who has no family obligations to live out of a suitcase.
Like you said it’s a question of choice, yet family obligations keep people grounded.

Sometimes I think what life would be like if I were single.
I recall my days as a bachelor when all my friends got married and slowly the bachelor circle of friends dwindled to three boys.

It was a wake up call for me and i was fortunate to find a soulmate. The two others left it too late and live a lonely existence.
The thought of loneliness and not having anyone to care for would leave me feeling empty.
Anyway, that’s my two bits.

“to live you do have to do something” this is a very interesting comment.

What do we have to do?

And why?

Why do we have to do anything?

Society has designed us to be worker ants, highly productive economic units designed to produce… and designed to even REproduce. This is what keeps our socio-economic system going.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but understand that all these ideas of

  • having to do something
  • being productive
  • finding meaning through reproduction

These ideas have all been socially engineered to cater for the ongoing stability of our current system. They are not about you having a fulfilling, happy and carefree existence.

When you totally get that no one cares whether you’re happy or not, only that you’re paying more and more your taxes (through earning more and more money… but not too much!) and creating more taxable people (but not too many babies!)… then you can start to see through the sham that says you’ll find fulfilment through following what society says is the “right” thing to do.

What is the right thing to do?

Follow me?

Hell no… that would be crazy.

But then again… isn’t it possible that following what the politicians want you to do (which includes paying for more wars and even sending more people to into war) couldn’t this perhaps be the craziest thing of all.

What are you to do then…?

How about think for yourself…

How about follow your own heart…

That’s where you’ll find your own truth.

There is nothing wrong with seeking fulfilment in relationships. And the idea of marriage and soulmates is a strong myth that is constantly perpetuated in our society.

The enjoyment that comes from such deep and profound encounters can’t be denied. And if you, like FK, is fortunate enough to find someone that you can fully dance a life of full self-expression, then smile and be grateful for every passing moment they are with you… for one day, they will be gone.

There is no one, and nothing that can protect you from the loneliness of existence.
There are only those who can distract us from it for a little (or longer) while.



Now… let’s have a listen to Andy…

Barnaby you have slipped up and if you keep this up instead of creating a massive following allowing your lifestyle your own words will loose your customer base,

Your cred relies on the words you put out. You just stuffed up big time. Feel free to tell me if I am off.

I’m one of those people who will do you the favour of letting you know your fly is down, when most will not do this.

Your last email you have sent both one of the most profound, useful, worthwhile and at the same time foolish and disconnected, selfish emails ever. It could easily loose you customers who have that as one of their first reads.

Barnaby you can do better than this. You have insightful words just loose the garbage you have added to it and it will be perfect.

So good the message about not wasting ones life and making the most of the present. How to treat the tragedies as just a fact. TO get used to the idea we do not have certainty in our lives. That you did well.

But as for the rest of it, you lost it man.
What happened did you smoke something, get a blow to the head, get drunk, vitamin deficiency? What?

Starting with your title “… You can relax, you don’t need to survive”

Barnaby, think about it. Where did that smart marketing brain of yours go. So you are saying I don’t need to live, instead I should just die now or something? Good luck with that sales pitch. Perhaps the title could have been, “Don’t live in fear” or something like that, The comment can be interpreted as condescending.

As for your comment about knocking peoples endeeavours that are repetitive. What are you going to tell a doctor who saves life every day that he is wasting his time and should just go traveling. Get real. As for the food, remind yourself gratefully the hard labour people did to make the food you eat each day as you earn more per hour than they do doing what you like whilst they labour with boring repetitiveness, so be grateful, not condescending. They don’t have that choice. Give them some respect.

Did you know that the simple technology regards the primary food market electronic boards put up across Ethipia is the one key technology that has transformed Ethipia to make them go from starving to almost food independedent. So don’t write off those who want to use technology. With an overcrowded planet. Heck don’t you get people in Ukrane or something to do technology for you.

So you wrote as if to write off protection and security. So tell me do you lock your bag in a locker. Just imagine your wallet, passport, phone and computer were stolen. Then what. Someone in a reptitive job at the Australian embassy would save your bacon. THe insurance company, your loved ones sending things. You are no island. Get real and have some respect for others.

Your attitude to people on the street. You heartless bastard. I have put up and helped people on the street. Some of them were kicked out of home at 8 as their parents beat them up and told them to fuck off. Some have mental conditions and epilepsy. We as a civilisation, should we be thinking what are they trying to remind us of… Hell no. We should have the compassion to help them. Some of them go from rags to riches. Someone has a car accident and anmesia and is on the street, with a little help they remember who they are and get their life together. You sound like you don’t give a fuck. If that is the case well you’re a selfish prick and probaby deserve a tragedy to gain perspective.

You supported your daughter to get a start in life and so should any dad. You waited till you went travelling. Are you suggesting by not protecting you should have abandoned her. I don’t think you mean that but your words aren’t targeting appropriately.

Why don’t you think about when in peoples lives they could target travelling.

Consider the people who are sick of travelling and living out of a suitcase as they did it for 25 years. They lost contact with everyone and wnat to settle down and grow roots. Don’t try to enrol everyone as if everything else is a waste, target the situations you speak to. For example when the kids have left home or before the kids start school or a short period of family traveling and being taught on the travels.

I could go further but I don’t have time and you have become selfish and not mindful or heartful of your audience. Your sounding like your life is all about you. WHere before you sounded like someone wanting to help and give fresh perspective and an alternate path. For most such a path would be not their whole life but a short number of years to grow and experience.

Across the world we all have different circumstances and values. It really is a mistkae to write off every other way of living and everyone elses valeus and your email can be read to assume that is what you are doing. Think about it. It like overshadows the insightfulness that you absolutely do have for others.

Get it together Barnaby, you are too good to go knocking everyone else. Too good to be condescending. Offer respect as you by offering disrespect, well look what it gets you in return.

I gave you $5000 once and then never dropped everything to make the time. I was working 2 jobs. You sold your business to someone else. I called them they had nothing for me. Yet here I am helping you out and I am between careers with all my life assets about to get taken in some divorce, but I took the time to write to you. Why? Because your message matters. If you enable others to find meaningful travel on a budget that is a great part anyone can include in their life

Don’t stop the message, finish your endeavour. Just remember to be respectful. I know that complaining, being condescending, picking holes in things, even when you are right, if the message is done poorly you can loose the person, loose their respect and they make a sweeping decision and do not even listen to the value you had to say.

If you want to put a message about how many peoples lives are a boring rat race and they have too many assets and all they do is burn their time working for too many assets, do it thoughtfully. Yes Australian’s mostly want big houses and all the junk that owns them. But don’t write off their careers, growing food, working with technology that does not reach Syrian’s they may still have a worthy cause.

Also you are attempting to show how people can have a little freedom, so those that work to protect and have security for their family, they are trying to give their family a little freedom. Don’t knock them for their sacrifice. YOu may not have meant to but your words can be read that way. So be very clear and careful when you use broad terms like writing off protection and security.

I could have been more thoughtful and careful but unlike you my email is not trying to lead to income. I just gave freely.

Bye for now

Phew… there’s a lot there!
Thank you Andy!!

Firstly Andy presumes that I’m writing all of this material to expand my customer base.
I’m not.

I’d like a bigger customer base, for sure!
But I’m not going to write only material that makes people say yes to me.

My goal is to shake things up.
To shake you up!

I want to challenge your assumptions about life.
I want you to reject what society says.
I want you to reject what I say.

I want you to think and feel for yourself.

I don’t care if you like what I have to say or not.

So, I’m not trying to craft a clever marketing message (sometimes I might 😉 ) but mostly not, that’s not what I’m trying to do, especially with that last piece.

“You can relax, you don’t need to survive”
It’s true. If you’re reading this, you probably can relax with not having to dodge bullets and bombs.

Relax doesn’t mean don’t do anything.
If you think it does, isn’t that interesting.
Start to look at your own assumptions on what you think pressure means, and how you think you need it in order to get anything done.

Are you worthy of a life where you can just breath and relax.
Are you already alive when you can wake up?
Do you ACTUALLY need to do anything to survive?
Or are you already “on” (alive) by default?

And living a repetitive life… I think if you look at it… from any of the millions of perspectives you could take, each of our lives is highly repetitive.

Looking at me moving around the globe… that’s kind a repetitive… don’t you think?! I sure do. How about me writing articles, and building websites and apps… isn’t that repetitive? It sure is!

Me eating, drinking, sleeping, traveling, working… it’s all insanely repetitive!!!

But how I view it doesn’t have to be.
How my thoughts and feelings about everything going on doesn’t have to be repetitive. Unless… you want it to be!

Surely every single thing that works for you, that you love, that improves your life and those others, wouldn’t that be a good thing to repeat?

From that point of view, go for it.
But if there is any element of your life that is repetitive, both action wise, or thought or feeling wise, which isn’t working for you, that you find dull or limiting… I’d like to encourage you to look at that.

Even if you’re job is about helping save the lives others.
Because if you’re not enjoying that, guess what, you’ve got a life too. And it’s your gift, and you don’t owe your life to anyone (except maybe your parents 😉 but that’s another story!).

Nearly everyone is trading their own potentially happy existence of today, of right now, for a fantasy of security and protection for tomorrow. Trying to shore up tomorrow at the expense of today, looks like madness to me.

But, don’t follow me. Ask yourself if it’s a good idea!

However, taking care of where I put my bags, and paying for my travel insurance, those things don’t detract from this moment. I’m quite happy to look out for the important things, because there are plenty of desperate people around who could steal them…

However, if they’re so driven to do that… isn’t it possible that perhaps they’re more in need of them than me?

“Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel”
Is a maxim that I live by.

The camel is a gift from god to me, and to show my respect, it’s up to me to be responsible for looking after it.

Yes, everything TRULY is a paradox. And none of it has to make any sense.

The only place you’ll find sense, is in your heart, and through questioning all the basic assumptions that society desperately doesn’t want you to question.

I highly recommend you read this other blog post I wrote.

I most certainly don’t think people should follow me, drop their lives and start traveling. I know people think that’s what I think they should do, but I truly don’t.

I just see a lot of people who are stuck in lives of quiet desperation. And therefor their lives are a lie. Just like mine was.

If you’re truly happy with traveling, keep doing it.
If you’re truly happy living in one spot, keep doing it.

If you’re only doing (whatever) you’re doing to please others, and keep the wolves from the door, then perhaps there are other ways to live.

That’s what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about authentic living. About finding your own way in the world, and if you have a team (family) that you’re working with, work together to create a situation that everyone loves. Because if you don’t even believe that everyone can be happy, and that someone has to sacrifice their life, what are you really doing?


As an after thought, Andy sent me this message:

You really did awaken me – thank you:

This might sound crazy but as you are a bit of a guru and from my perspective you slipped it knocked me out of my tranc e of listening to all the gurus and valuing my thoughts just as highly as what works for me.  It really awakened me to how by looking inwardly and valuing that and balancing that with the experts guidance is far more awakened than sinking into passive subservience to all the experts ideas
Massive change just started in my life in positive way today as I just took my life by the horns again.  I had been off in a trance looking outwardly for all the answers.  Only your comments from you who I respect by being off kicked me out of that trance so thanks heaps


Sent from my iPhone

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Showing 2 comments
  • Loose ends

    If the knot is too loose you will lose the kite.

  • Amanda

    To me it looks like a case of low literacy, IQ and EQ, and a blind lost man who runs from response ability. A man who is likely suffering from a narcissistic – borderline personality disorder. Check out the profile.

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